Learn to be a good question asker (3/06/2020)
***I found this great blog on being a good question asker. Check it out below***
How to build relationships through quality question asking
Quality conversations are and important key to building good relationships. Healthy small groups take place in the context of relationships.
The great church service and the awesome message is not nearly as memorable as a great relationship.
An effective way to build relationship is to become an expert question asker.
During my first decade in ministry, I was lousy at asking good questions. I used the same basic questions to start each conversation with a new person. “Where are you from?” “What do you do for work?” “What sports are you into?” I would never remember the answers, and the questions were only an attempt to find some sort of familiarity. There was no real connection.
However, effective questions communicate interest, help people feel known and loved, and even guide them to life change.
My frustration and failures finally forced me to rethink my approach to connecting with others. I identified a few question-asking goals and developed filters through which I put every possible question.
An insider question gets behind what’s easily apparent. For instance, if someone shows up and their kid has a cast on their wrist. The go to question is what? “How did it happen?” Maybe after asking that (cuz you gotta know right!?) You ask a deeper and more insider focused question.
“How did you feel when that happened?”
“Was that scary when you realized what happened?”
“As a parent what were your emotions during that moment?”
This question gets me inside the mind or heart of another person. Normal questions may break the ice, but insider questions gets others telling you about the story underneath the “safe” typical answer.
So, don’t waste time asking obvious, typical questions. Go for the good stuff.
When someone shares something with you, make it a priority to follow up next time you see them or even text them. How awesome would it be if someone you lead at your small group got a text from you saying, “Hey, praying for your kids game today! Hope it goes well.” Going above and beyond like this communicates that you do care about them outside of the small group environment. Not only that, but it breaks a barrier between you as the small group leader and them as an attender. Another effective tool of follow up is to continue the conversation from last time you met. “Hey you mentioned last week that your kid had a play, how did that go?” I know much of this is normal interpersonal communication but it’s also something I always forget in the busyness of life.
Great questions build great relationships so learn to be a good question asker.
Creating a plan to grow in your leadership in 2020 (2/12/2020)
I absolutely love the New Year. It is such a reflective space for me and I always spend some time setting goals for the New Year. I listened to this podcast last year that really helped me shape my goal setting for the next year. I plan on listening to it again for this year because it was so helpful last year. I have shared it below… If you are one of those peoples that loves growing as a leader I think this two part series is for you. They are about 20 minutes each so short, digestible and practical. Enjoy!
- Six Steps to Your Best Year of Leadership, Part 2
- Six Steps to Your Best Year of Leadership, Part 1
Three easy things you can do this week to be a next level leader (1/31/2020)
Leadership isn’t complicated. Sometimes it is being available and in the lives of others that makes the biggest impact. The consistent leader is so often rewarded with the trust of those they lead. Want to take your leadership to the next level? Here is three simple and easy practices you can do THIS WEEK to take your leadership to the next level.
Text one person in your small group and ask them how you can pray for them this week
When you text someone individually to ask them about how you can pray for them you are communicating a couple of really important truths.
-You care about them even when they are not at small group
-You care about their spiritual life and their walk with God
-You value them so much that you are going to take the time out of your day to truly pray for them.
Get Familiar With The Curriculum (before everyone gets there)
It is really easy to get comfortable in leadership and just slide by. Next level leaders get familiar with the curriculum before their group shows up. They work through it, pray through it and really think about how to contextualize the curriculum for their specific group. We will always provide you with curriculum but your job as the leader is to familiarize yourself with it and then think about how you can help your group get the most out of the discipleship time they have with you. Small groups are more than just hanging out and having dinner. People are gathering because they want more of Jesus. What are you doing as a leader to connect them to Jesus?
Spend time with God yourself
This is possibly the most important one. You cannot lead others to places you have never been. Do not expect your small group to go deep if you do not go deep with God on your own. Spend time with God, work it into your schedule. If you are busy, I get it, we all are. However, the busier you are, the more you need God. Start your day with God and work it into your calendar and make it a habit. Leaders are always growing while they are leading and essentially your ministry is a reflection of your life with God. You will benefit from it and you know your soul craves it. If someone says “Im so busy.” I always respond with, “Exactly, you are so busy, you need this more than ever.”
I am Praying for you and rooting for you,
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