This Week

We are BACK for midweeks. We will be at the Cove from 730-9PM talking about the transforming power of the resurrection from the message in church on Sunday.

New series starts this Sunday: We are starting our new series IDK (I dont know) on October 6th in Oasis. This is a series that we will answer students questions about faith, the Bible and God.

Next Week

We will have midweeks next week!

On 10/13 in the evening we are heading down to San Diego Christian College to join other youth groups from around San Diego for a night of worship led by the San Diego Christian Worship band. It is free and dinner is provided.

On the Radar

CITY SEARCH is back! We have our annual Halloween Event, City Search, coming up. The date is October 23rd so make sure your students save the date. This is an epic scavenger hunt around Scripps Ranch AND we have a costume contest.

Winter Camp Dates: February 14-17, 2020. 

Summer Camp Houseboats Dates: July 12-17, 2020.

Service Opportunity: We are looking for some drivers that would want to help get some of our City Heights friends to the Cove on Wednesdays. We only have 8 Wednesdays left in the year that we are trying to fill. The students you are helping are actually refugees from other countries so it is really hard for them to get around and have made some deep connections at Canyon Springs through our amazing scholarship opportunities for camps. They have been to our camps and have made great connections with kids here and their leaders. We want to continue to help these kids stay in the orbit of Gods Spirit and all the great stuff that is going on at Canyon Springs. If this is tugging on your heart you can sign up HERE to help transport some students. You can sign up to pick up, drop off or both. Click on the link and read over the description on how to sign up and how to get into contact with the ministry supervisor Melissa Drake for address and timing.

Winning at Home

Every week I hope to provide you with something to help you win at home. Some weeks you will get a recap of the Sunday message with questions to continue the conversation at home. Other weeks I will share a blog or article I run into that I think may be valuable to you. Who knows, some weeks you’ll get both!!

Back Talking to Mom Should be Rewarded by Doug Fields

“I thought I told you to clean your room.”
“You did tell me that, and here’s why I didn’t…”

How many of you are already taking off your belt to teach this kid a thing or two? At first glance, this kind of talk from your kids might seem disrespectful, or as some of us call it, “backtalk.” But what if I told you, allowing this kind of talk can not only open doors for healthy conversations, but it can help your kids learn to say ‘no’ to drugs or alcohol.

Don’t worry, I’m not advocating letting our kids disrespect their parents. I’m advocating allowing our kids to respectfully speak their minds. Kids who can calm and confidently disagree with their parents are actually 40 percent more likely to say ‘no’ to drugs or alcohol than kids who didn’t argue.

Sound crazy? The study was done by the University of Virginia and they published their findings in the journal, Child Development. Dr. Joseph P. Allen studied 157 13-year-olds, opening conversations about conflict in the home and noting which parents actually wanted to talk with their kids about disagreements. The parents who allowed their kids to dialogue with them gave their kids practice handling disagreements.

When Allen interviewed the teens again at ages 15 and 16, he found “The teens who learned to be calm and confident and persuasive with their parents acted the same way when they were with their peers.” In fact, they were 40 percent more likely to say ‘no’ when offered alcohol or drugs than kids who didn’t argue with their parents.

One of the biggest complaints I hear from teenagers is that their parents don’t listen.

“I thought I told you to clean your room.”
“You did tell me that, and here’s why I didn’t do it yet. You also told me to feed the dog and finish studying for my SAT test. Molly looked hungry, so I fed her first. Then I went straight to studying because I figured that was the most important. When I finish studying in about 15 minutes, I’ll get straight to cleaning my room. Is that okay?

Let’s be realistic. This probably doesn’t happen too often. Usually our kids come up with a lame excuse that has something to do with their phone and the need to talk with a friend. The temptation to overreact is strong here, and sometimes we probably convince ourselves that yelling just works better, but wouldn’t it be better to keep the channels of communication open? Besides, when we give our kids the gift of letting them be heard, we can do one better than just getting them to clean their room… we can teach them to articulate themselves and stand up for what they believe.

Who would have guessed that effective arguing with mom and dad provided kids with the experience needed to resist negative peer pressure. That probably makes a lot of us think twice about simply responding, “Just shut up and clean your room!

Thanks!

I am praying and rooting for you and your family,

Chad Richards

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